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7 Tips For Practicing Positive Discipline

Today, Vicki and I have 7 tips for practicing
positive discipline. And the last one if my favorite one. Let’s jump right in, Vicki. What’s tip number 1 for positive discipline? -So, tip number 1 is take care of yourself. That seems crazy that that would be the first
tip. In order to show up and participate in positive
discipline, you got to be taking care of yourself. So that you’re in the right space. -Yes. This makes total perfect logical sense when
you think about it. The problem is we don’t naturally do it. -Right. -Parents are so concerned about their kids. They always want to take care of them first. -But we need to take care of ourselves. -Biggest gift you can give to your child is
a fully functional parents. So, find out what you need to do to take care
of yourself. That’s tip number 1. -So, Paul. What’s tip number 2? -It’s the one that I usually start with, actually. -That’s true. -Remember your job. What’s your job as a parent? We get distracted a lot of times in it. Well, our job is to make sure that our kids
safe, happy, well adjusted, stable, well disciplined. That’s not your job. Your job as a parent is to love them no matter
what and even if. If you’ve been here on the channel very long,
you’ve heard me say that a time and time again. Go to the positive parenting playlist here
at Live On Purpose TV. And you’ll hear it repeated. But that’s why it’s so important to mention
it right here as one of the foundational building blocks for positive discipline. Your job is to love them no matter what and
even if. Alright. Back to you, Vicki. What’s tip number 3? -If piggy back’s off at tip number 2, if you
remember that you love and you show up as a loving parent and that that is your main
message that you’re sending to your child, then it’s easier to remember and own the role
of being a benevolent, loving, caring provider of good things parent. -Know that you’ve got some chatter going on
in your mind because I hear it in the comments down below as I’ve talked to you individually. “I don’t think I’m going to do a good job
as a parent.” You’re a benevolent, generous, loving parent. There are so many arguments that support that. Own the role. Take it on. -You know, we’re talking a lot about this
how we’re showing up because when you go to discipline your child in a positive way, you
need to be comfortable and confident in who you are and that you are coming from the right
angle as you discipline. So, that you know that the reason for discipline
isn’t because your mad at your kids. It’s because you want their course corrected. Okay, Paul. Number 4? -Get to YES. -This is one of my favorite tips. -You know how you’re constantly saying no? “No, no, no, no!” Let’s get to YES. -Yeah. It does such a great tip for positive discipline
because if you can get to yes as often as you can when it have to be a no, it carries
more weight. -How can you do this? -Remember in your mind is not just yes. It’s “Yes, if” or “Yes, when.” -Yeah. -Do you see? And you can answer almost anything. So, your child comes to you. “Mom, can I have a new car?” -Yes. -When you could pay for it. -Right. “Yes, when you can pay for the darn thing. And you can afford the insurance and everything
else.” Right? So, get to yes. As a parent, that puts you in a very powerful
positive position. I think we’re up to number 5. Vicki, bring it on. -So, one thing we have to remember is that
discipline is not punishment. -And punishment is not negative. -Right. -Neither is reinforcement necessarily positive. -Okay. You’re right because I work with so many children
that we often reinforce them in a kind of a negative way. We give them a negative attention etc, like
that. So, you need to remember that discipline can
be a very positive thing. it’s not a negative or a harsh thing. It doesn’t have to be. Well, it shouldn’t be. -I’ve had some parents ask me, “So, I’m not
suppose to punish my children?” You are suppose to punish your children. But it’s not a negative thing. Punishment and reinforcement are behavioral
psychology terms. And we won’t get into all the details around
what that means in this video. Although we’ve talked about it in one of the
videos here on the channel . Remember, positive discipline is not necessary about punishment
or reinforcement. You can use both of those in a positive way
to bring about better outcomes for your kids. -Alright. That leads us to number 6. -We’re at to 6 already? -We are. -Wording matters. The word you pick matter. And as we’re talking about positive discipline,
how about we use some positive wording? -Right. -Are you down for that? So, an example: “You can’t have any dessert
unless you finish all your dinner.” Alright, consider how that feels. Now, let’s change it up to a positive wording. “You can have dessert as soon as you’ve finish
all of your dinner. Did I say basically the same thing? -Yeah. The same meaning but it felt different. -I changed up the words to be positive. -You know, I take this one a lot also with
what kids think of as parents nagging them all the time. -Yes. -Because they always say, “Don’t forget this,
don’t forget…” I think it feels a lot different if you say,
“Remember your coat. Remember to bring home your lunch box.” Instead of “Don’t forget your lunch box home.” -Yes. -So, wording matters. -Slight adjustment, big change in the energy. Well, Vicki. How did you get my favorite one? -Well, you know, we just went back and forth
but now, I’m going to let you take it because this is your favorite one. What is it? -It is my favorite one. Here it is. -Choose to enjoy your kids. Think about those words. Choose, see that it’s a choice. Some parents just go through life feeling
like their being beat up by the circumstances. Really? You’ve got some choice in the matter. And the word “enjoy” which contains the little
word “joy” which I think the whole purpose in the first place. Why did we have family to start with? Because you want to experience joy. What if you knew that it was a choice? And the thing is until you see it as a choice,
it’s not. And you’ll just throw with whatever it is
that you’re already programmed to do. Choose to enjoy. Positive discipline is only a part of positive
parenting. Vicki and I have collaborated to create some
resources for you. Vicki, tell them more they can connect to
that. -If you go to, you’re
going to have opportunity to look for downloads. And there’s communities there. There are digital products. -Coaching programs. And you can sign up for a Parenting breakthrough
call. There’s a link down in the description. That will help you to get connected with all
of these amazing resources. We’re honored to be on your positive parenting

Reynold King

21 Replies to “7 Tips For Practicing Positive Discipline”

  1. Wording matters….ugh I get SO tired of saying "no" and nagging my kids all the time! I will definitely switch up my wording, so simple. Thanks!

  2. Love you guys 💕 I am having a hard time doing positive parenting with my 15 year old son. I try but my son can be rude and disrespectful towards me the way he answers makes me crazy but I don't show it to him! I just don't know how to connect with him and for him to value and respect his family.

  3. You two are not only giving amazing content here, but i believe that you guys are an example of what a well- balanced, accepting, loving couple can look like with dedication and wanting from both sides ♥️

  4. I am a benevolent loving, caring parent! Positively great advice! I Love your channel! So long as I use the tools, I can fix the problems!

  5. Take care of yourself.
    Remember your job.
    Benevelont , generous parent
    Get to Yes. Yes if, yes when.
    Discipline is not punishment.
    Wording matters.
    Choose to enjoy your kids.

    I'm so six. Yes. Wordings and tones are important.

    Thank you.

  6. How to manage kids that always refuse to do what they are told. Could you help with some tips on this.
    Love all your videos 🥰

  7. Thank you both so much. I make it a point to look at one video each day. I teach in the children’s ministry and I care for my grandchildren. I was slowly becoming bitter and losing my joy to be around children. I see a lot of it was me failing to care for myself. For the past 7 days I have been very diligent in my morning routine to care for myself first. It has made a huge difference in how I show up for the day. The children are the same, however my response to them has changed. Again thank you for all of your parenting tips.

  8. my ten year old still throws fits when asked to do anything, or told he cant have something, or when he dose not get his way. it's becoming like a bad habit. he is capable of having more self control, and has admitted he dose it because he knows it is not a well received behavior. not really because he is that upset. so for example you made me mad by not allowing ___________ so now I am going to have a fit, and or yell at you just make you mad. I remind him firmly with a smile that he is not being nice and he has two choices you either stop with the fit and or yelling, or you will have a consequence. he usually earns the consequence, but when given the consequence he "turn up the volume." it is getting out of hand. and no one that has degrees I speak with knows what to do, or they subject medications. medication for a bad attitude? also last year he was to the point he was hardly getting this loud. I have no idea, even after many calm talks what the heck changed to make him not only resort back to fits, but to also have them more frequently, and louder. the other problem is, I may HAVE to rent out a room in my home, and there is no way I can keep a roommate with all this loud noise, unless the person is deaf. this is getting out of hand. and I do not know who else to turn to. my insurance is so bad, that I cant find a psychologist in my area. thank for all you do.

  9. These parents videos are amazing. I usually watch them in 1.5x speed. Anyway I've learned alot but this has also confirmed things, that when I'm in doubt as a parents, helps reassure me that im an amazing parent.

  10. I noticed you've never mentioned achievement charts….. is that because it doesnt really work?? I'm trying to guide the children to goals?? The charts are always changing as they grow.

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