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Composure – from the Conscious Discipline LIVE! DVD Set


Composure’s the willingness to change it
internal state form upset to calm and bring your mind present moment from
this alert but calm state we’re able to engage all our brain resources to solve problems, model responsibility,
and offer respect even in difficult situations. Once we learn the self
control then we can teach it to children in this session you will learn how to take back your power, actively calm yourself, create safe environments for children, and establish a safe place for even the
most difficult job can learn self-control. So let’s take a deep breath. Bring our mind to the present moment. And get started. Welcome to the first skill of Conscious
Discipline, which is composure, and the icon for this skill is a star and a star is simply, S, which is smile or stop. T, take a deep breath. A, and. R, relax. So let’s all start with that so I want
to, let’s smile. take a deep breath. Hold it. And relax. And with that I want you to bring your mind to where
your body is. All the stuff you need to be doing today,
you can’t do, you’re here. All the stuff you should be doing right
now, you can’t do, you are here. So give yourself permission to be
present at this very moment so we can, one more time, let’s smile, take a deep breath, and relax. And because the brain is pattern seeking we’re going to start
this session with a song like we’ve started each session before, so again
the brain is… what? Pattern seeking. So we’re going to start
with a song. This song is called “The Star Song” And what we’re going to do is, we’re going to put ourselves in a state it’s going to go, when you’re feeling really angry, no matter where you are, you’re going to let it go. There’s a way to feel better, there’s a way to be star. And the rest you
can follow me. So everyone just stand up. Here we go and get those angry states, so we can tell the difference between the two. “When you’re feeling really angry. No matter where you are. There’s a way to feel better. There’s a way to be a star! With this one thing to remember you’ll stop anger in tracks.” All right, take it all the way back. “Just stop. Take a deep breath and relax.” Okay, way back here now. “Just stop. Take a deep breath. And relax.” One more time. “Just stop. Take a deep breath and relax.” Do that same thing again. Here we go. “When you’re feeling really angry no matter where you are. There’s a way to feel better. There’s a way to be a star. With this one thing to remember you’ll stop anger in it’s tracks.” Okay, this time the other hand! “Just stop take a deep breath. And relax.” One more time. “Just stop. Take a deep breath. And relax.” Over hand hitting. Here we go! “Just stop take a deep breath. And relax.” All right, have a seat. And what that song was about was really
a state change and that’s what composure is. Composure is changing our internal state from upset to calm. And that’s a simple as it is but to do
this to change our internal state from upset to calm, we’ve got to, one think it’s possible, two believe it’s necessary, and three know
how to do it. Now most of us have been raised to
believe that outside stuff is driving us nuts outside stuff is making us angry whether that’s whiny children, back talking, traffic, ex-husbands, see we see, ex-wives, that all that out there is what’s making us mad. So here’s the problem with that if we
think that that outside events are making us mad then we’re going to give our power away to
all those outside events, this brings us to the first power of Conscious Discipline. Conscious
Discipline has seven powers and seven skills. The skill is composure but the power that it comes from is the
power of perception. Now what the power of perception
really says is how I perceive something dictates my emotional state which then dictates my behaviors. Now Conscious Discipline terms I made it pretty simple and here’s how I state the power of perception. No one can make me angry without my permission. Let’s say that together, no one can make me
angry without my permission. One more time. No one can make me angry without my
permission. Now that sounds good on paper don’t you
think? Yeah, that’s real good on paper, but we always have these itty-bitty exceptions. And I’ve already mentioned a few of those. Except this, or except that. So what we’re going to do in this session is learn about composure and learn about taking back our power. Now here’s the problem with giving our power away what happens then is when we give our power away and we
believe that outside events are making us sad, angry, happy, upset, irritated, whomever we believe to be in charge of
our feelings we’ve placed in charge of us whomever or whatever. I was in chicago it was months and months ago but I’m on this elevator with this woman this
woman gets on this elevator and here’s what she does, and she just like Just huffing and puffing. And we’re on like the thirty-second floor. And every time to doors stops. Somebody else gets on, and she’s like. “No. No. No.” And she’s going on and on and on and I’m looking at her and I’m
thinkin ‘Your given your power away to an elevator?’ And the more the door open and shut the
more frustrated she got. And I’m thinking. ‘This is what elevators do. That’s their job.’ And she had just given all her power away to an elevator. And I believe consciously well not consciously but
unconsciously she truly believed if she huffed and puffed enough, we’d get to the lobby quicker. Now and how many of us have that same
kind of mind set, if I could huff and puff enough life’s going to go my way? But what happens is whoever we give our power away or whatever giving up- whomever we believe to
be in charge of our feelings we put in charge of ourselves so right now what
I’d like to do is just take a moment right now who or what do you believe is making you mad or angry? Also I want you to think about this who or what do you think is making you happy? because its both it’s the same thing,
you think someone’s making you happy they’re still in charge whoever you’ve placed in charge of your feelings, you’ve placed in charge of you. And I’ll use this little vest as a demonstration so let me get this
thing on. How many of you have thought, “Mmhmm. That child is pushing my buttons.” You ever had that? So here’s what happens when we give our
power away, here’s how we’re walking around life. Anybody at anytime can flip our little switches and make us mad right? It could be traffic. It could be our children. It could be classroom. Could be walking down
the hall. Now if we walk around with our vest like this, so to speak, over we walk
around given our power away here’s what we must do and see if this
makes sense to you. We then have to control the entire world to manage their own emotions. I would have to spend my whole energy making sure the world goes my way so
that I can keep calm, peaceful, and happy internal state.

Reynold King

3 Replies to “Composure – from the Conscious Discipline LIVE! DVD Set”

  1. knoxelectra- I have seen this in practice in the preschool classroom and it is not smug, quite the opposite. The kids really respond to the program, it is a whole new way to approach discipline and teaching.

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