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Stephen Visits NASA To Begin His Astronaut Training


WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. WELL, I TELL YOU WHAT, WE’RE
GOING TO HAVE TO BRING IN– WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO BRING IN
CIVIL ENGINEERS TO CHECK THE STRUCTURAL DAMAGE IN THIS
BUILDING BECAUSE YOU ALL JUST TORE THE ROOF OFF THIS PLACE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: ALL NIGHT. HEY, JON, I WANT TO ASK YOU A
QUESTION ABOUT NEXT WEEK. YOU DOING ANYTHING TUESDAY
NIGHT?>>Jon: YEAH, I’LL BE HERE.>>Stephen: 11:35.>>Jon: WE’RE DOING A LIVE
SHOW.>>Stephen: YOU’RE GOING
TOMENT TO BE HERE BECAUSE WE’RE DOING A LIVE SHOW FOLLOWING
PRESIDENT TRUMP’S ADDRESS TO A JOINT SESSION OF CONGRESS, ALL
RIGHT, ALL RIGHT? YEAH. IT’S NOT THE STATE OF THE UNION,
BECAUSELET COUNTRY DOESN’T HAVE THAT MUCH UNION RIGHT NOW, BUT
IT’S LIKE THE STATE OF THE UNION AND WE’LL BE HERE TO TALK ABOUT
EVERYTHING HE SAID AND DID RIGHT HERE ON THE SHOW. PLEASE JOIN US. IT WILL BE SUPER EXCITING. RIGHT? I’M RIGHT ABOUT THE EXCITING
PART, RIGHT? CAN WE FACT CHECK WHETHER IT
WILL BE EXCITING? THEY’RE TELLING ME IT WILL BE
EXCITING. NOW, WHAT’S ALSO EXCITING RIGHT
NOW, THESE ARE EXCITING TIMES FOR THE GOOD FOLKS AT NASA. THIS WEEK, NASA ANNOUNCED THEY
FOUND, NOT ONE, NOT TWO, BUT SEVEN NEW PLANETS IN A STAR
SYSTEMS JUST 40 LIGHT-YEARS FROM HERE, AND TRUMP HAS ALREADY
BANNED REFUGEES FROM ALL SEVEN PLANETS. ( LAUGHTER )
AND THE OTHER EXCITING THING IS THAT NOW, AMERICA HAS TAKEN THE
LEAD. WE ARE HEADING BACK TO SPACE,
THANKS TO BOEING’S STARLINER CAPSULE. AND NATURALLY, DAELD WANTS IN. JIM. RECENTLY THE GOOD PEOPLE OF NASA
INVITED ME TO THE KENNEDY SPACE CENTER WHERE AMERICAN HEROES
CONTINUE TO SHOOT FOR THE STARS. ONE OF THOSE HEROES IS COMMANDER
CHRIS FERGUSON, WHO PILOTTEDLY THE FINAL MISSION OF NASA’S
ICONIC SHUTTLE PROGRAM.>>AMERICA WILL CONTINUE THE
DREAM.>>Stephen: TODAY, CHRIS IS
THE DIRECTOR OF CREW AND MISSION OPERATIONS FOR BOEING, SO I
ASKED TO MEET HIM TO SEE IF I HAD THE RIGHT STUFF. ( LAUGHTER )
TO MAKE IT TO SPACE.>>THIS IS THE CENTAUR SECOND
STAGE –>>Stephen: WE STARTED WITH
THE TECHNICAL REVIEW OF THE STARLINER SYSTEM. HOW WILL THE STARLINER WORK?>>UH… IT’S A ROCKET.>>Stephen: IT’S A ROCKET,
OKAY. HOLD ON. LET ME GET THAT DOWN. ROCKET…>>THE STARLINER, WE’RE GOING TO
RIDE ON AN ATLAS 5 BOOST GLER WHICH ONE OF THESE ARE WE
TALKING ABOUT HERE?>>THEY’RE BOTH MODELS WILL OF
THE ATLAS 5. ONE IS A LITTLE SHORTER THAN THE
OTHER.>>Stephen: THERE’S A SHORT
ONE AND A LONG ONE.>>THAT’S ONE MODELS —
>>Stephen: THERE ARE TWO MODELS OVER THERE.>>BUT THERE ARE TWO DIFFERENT
SIZES OF THE SAME ROCKET.>>Stephen: SO THERE ARE TWO
SIZES.>>IT DOES NOT COME IN TWO SIZE.>>Stephen: WHY ARE THERE TWO
MODELS?>>I DON’T KNOW.>>Stephen: THIS IS BY FAR THE
MOST PHALLIC ROCKET TO GO INTO SPACE. I’M NOT SURE WE CAN SHOW THAT ON
CAMERA. JIMMY, THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW. AND WHAT SHAPED ROCKET WILL
FEMALE ASTRONAUTS GO UP IN, A GEORGIA O’KEEFE PAINTINGS?>>THEY WILL BE THE SAME. AND THE STRAP-ON BOOSTERS.>>Stephen: DO YOU GUYS ALWAYS
USE TWO STRAP-ONS?>>FOR THIS PARTICULAR MISSION
WE DO, YES.>>Stephen: OKAY.>>BUT YOU CAN PUT UP TO FIVE.>>Stephen: YOU CAN USE FIVE
STRAP-ONS AT ONCE?>>YES.>>Stephen: WOW. WITH THE TECHNICALITIES BEHIND
US, IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO TRY ON BOEING’S HIGHLY AMOUNTED NEW
SPACE SUIT. UNLIKE THE BULKY SUICIDE OF
YESTERYEAR, PRAISED FOR ITS LIGHT WEIGHT, FLEXIBLE DESIGN,
IT IS THE NEXT GENERATION OF SPACE SUIT. WHAT DO YOU THINK?>>YOU’RE NOT GOING TO USE THAT.>>Stephen: WHY NOT? LOOK HOW PRACTICAL IT IS? TURNS OUT I HAD THE WRONG SUIT. THIS WAS THE SUIT. THIS FEELS RIGHT.>>YOU LOOK GOOD.>>Stephen: TELL ME ABOUT THE
GLOVES.>>SO THE GLOVES ARE– THEY HAVE
A CAPACITOR TOUCH SO YOU CAN OPERATE A TOUCHSCREEN.>>Stephen: I CAN USE AN
IPHONE WITH THIS? BECAUSE ON REENTRY I’M GOING
TOMENT TO BE CHECK MIGHT GO INSTAGRAM.>>VERY IMPORTANT.>>Stephen: THAT’S ACTUALLY
LOOKING. LOOK AT THAT. OKAY, LET’S GET A SELFIE. YOU DON’T WANT TO PUT YOUR
FINGER UP?>>NO. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )>>Stephen: THERE IS A HOLE
RIGHT HERE. IS THIS WHERE HE WEEK UP THE
GRAVY TUBE?>>THAT’S WHERE YOUR AIR HOSE
WILL CONNECT TO, YES.>>Stephen: ANOTHER GREAT,
LET’S DO IT. OH, YEAH. THERE YOU HAVE IT.>>RIGHT.>>Stephen: I CAN’T HELP BUT
NOTICE, @AND I WANT TO PUT THIS DELICATELY– THAT WHEN YOU
ATTACH THE TUBE, IT GIVES YOU AN ENORMOUS ASS. IS THERE A REASON FOR THAT? THIS IS SWEET. LOOK AT THAT. I LOOK LIKE SPACE NICKI MINAJ. WHAT’S GOING ON WITH THAT? STUFT ST JUST TO MAKE IT AS
UNFLATTERING AS POSSIBLE.>>I DON’T THINK THEY WERE
TRYING TO MAKE YOU LOOK BAD. WHEN YOU SIT DOWN, YOUR BUTT
TAKES UP MORE MATERIAL SO WHEN YOU STAND UP IT’S UNFLATTERING.>>Stephen: YOU THINK I’M FAT
SAY SO. JUST SAY I’M A LITTLE HEAVIER
AND COULD LOSE A FEW POUNDS.>>YOU COULD LOSE A COUPLE OF
POUNDS.>>Stephen: OKAY, FORGET IT. NEXT IT WAS ON TO THE STARLINER
CAPSULE ITSELF WHERE I WOULD BE STRAPPED DOWN FOR AN INTENSIVE
INTERVIEW.>>WHAT KIND OF TECHNICAL DEGREE
DID YOU RECEIVE THAT MAY HELP ON FUTURE MISSIONS TO THE
INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION? STATION.>>Stephen: I HAVE A THEATER
DEGREE. I CAN ACT LIKE I HAVE TECHNICAL
SKILLS. WATCH THIS. UHH, LET’S GET THE DU-1 ON THE
DOWNER. WE ARE BURNING DAYLIGHT. LET’S LIGHT THIS CANDLE. WE ARE DETOXING. LET’S TURN ON THE OXYGEN. I JUST BROKE A SWITCH.>>DID YOU BREAK THAT SWITCH.>>Stephen: WHAT ARE THE
RCS-1?>>WE NEED RCS-1.>>Stephen: WHAT IS THAT?>>REACTION CONTROL JET NUMBER
1.>>Stephen: HOW AM I DOING? HOW AM I SCORING SO FAR?>>I’M AFRAID BREAKING THAT
SWITCH IS NOT GOING TO REFLECT WELL ON YOU.>>Stephen: I’M STRONGER THAN
I THOUGHT. DO YOU GUYS SAY, “LIGHT THIS
CANDLE?”>>WE NEVER SAY, “LIGHT THIS
CANDLE.>>Stephen: IF I SAY, “LET’S
LIGHT THIS CANDLE,” NO ONE WOULD SAY THEY KNOW WHAT I MEAN.>>WOULD KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN BUT
THE COOLER ASTRONAUTS DON’T SAY THAT.>>Stephen: WHAT DO THEY SAY?>>READY TO FLY. Q. THAT’S COOL.>>ARE YOU READY
>>Stephen: LET’S LIGHT THIS CANDLE.>>YOU’RE NOT– YOU’RE NOT DOING
EXCEEDINGLY WELL HERE. FLYING WITH THE CREW AND LIVING
ON THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION WITH OTHER ASTRONAUTS
REQUIRES SOMEONE TO BE VERY FLEXIBLE AND GET ALONG WITH
OTHERS. DO YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE IN THIS
AREA.>>Stephen: I’M FLEXIBLE IN
TERMS OF MY NEEDS. IS THAT IMPORTANT?>>YES.>>Stephen: OKAY, GOOD. I JUST HAVE A COUPLE THINGS. I MADE A SMALL LIST OF THINGS I
NEED WHILE I’M IN ORBIT. I CAN’T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT A
LAVENDER-SCENTED CANDLE. AND I ALSO HAVE A SERVICE ANIMAL
FOR ANXIETY.>>SERIOUSLY?>>Stephen: YEAH, IT’S A
POSSUM. AND LEGALLY YOU HAVE TO LET ME
TAKE IT BECAUSE IT’S A SERVICE POSSUM.>>I’M NOT SURE IF A POSSUM IS
IN THE MIX, STEVE GLEN AGAIN, IT’S A SERVICE POSSUM.>>I CAN JUST PUT “NO” HERE.>>Stephen: HOW AM I DOING? DIPASS? ♪ AIN’T NO STOPPING US NOW. ♪ WE’RE GOING TO SPACE
♪ ♪.>>Stephen: I HAD TAKEN EVERY
TEST WITH FLYING COLORS AND I COULDN’T WAIT TO HEAR WHAT MY
CRUCIAL ROLE WOULD BE IN AMERICA’S TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO
SPACE.>>WE’RE GOING TO PROCLAIM YOU
THE FIRST HONORARY STARLINER ASTRONAUT COMMANDER IN CHARGE OF
STICKER PLACEMENT. ( APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: ALL RIGHT. LET’S LIGHT THIS CANDLE. ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>>Stephen: WE’LL BE RIGHT
BACK WITH ALLISON WILLIAMS.

Reynold King

100 Replies to “Stephen Visits NASA To Begin His Astronaut Training”

  1. That's a flight suit, not a space suit. Going on space walks will still require bulky equipment. Just so there are no misconception.

  2. I hope you realize getting to wear that suit and being paid for is somthing I'd give my right arm to have the chance to been in the same room as those guys and that suit. I hope ya appreciate it.

  3. Stephen stole the fat joke from Conan. When Conan was interviewing his employees. Starts at 7:06 and ends at 7:42 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYgveD5B-V0

  4. How did I miss this segment?? Colbert will do anything for a laugh! Shaking his booty in the space suit … omg! πŸ˜‚
    He even says he looks like Nicki Minaj ! And this years segment with her was golden ! Oh man, I love me some Stephen Colbert !! Let’s light this candle! πŸš€

  5. That's no spacesuit, but a flight suit, which is what astronauts wear inside the spacecraft.

    Can't EVA with that suit on since:
    1- It doesn't have life support systems
    2- It isn't white (big deal in space, since anything not white will accumulate heat, cooking the astronauts in the process)
    3- It uses freaking zippers…

  6. Astronaut Sunny Williams was standing right there. She's been on the ISS and is scheduled on the pioneer Boeing mission. Can you have her on the show please?????? She's my hero!

  7. Unfortunately, that switch was kinda important. RCS allows you to control which way the ship is facing and also can allow you to preform fine adjustments for things like docking with other spacecraft or space stations.

  8. The problem with lighting candles is that it’s done at the top β€” unless NASA rewrote the laws of thermodynamics. πŸš€πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦πŸ˜‚

  9. No way should it be that easy to have broken that switch. Not only should our best be out there, but our best material and resources as well.

  10. Not to offend Australia, the Republic of Ireland, New Zealand, South Africa and the United Kingdom, the politically correct "Peace" hand signal is normally reverse.

  11. "Unlike the bulky suits of yesteryear…"

    Shows image of the spacewalking suits, which will still be used after the new suits arrives, instead of the launch suits. The suits from Boeing are actually going to replace the launch and reentry suits (that big orange suit that was used during the Shuttle program). The spacewalking suit showed with the caption is not being replaced and is still the designated "going outside of the spacecraft and actually be in space" suit.

  12. Idk if Chris has kids, but if that were my dad, I would die laughing. He seems like the kind of person who’s almost always pretty serious, and he’s awesome in this interview.

  13. NASA's so full of shit. Astronauts are suppose to be top peak condition people. So what does NASA do? Use old, weak, and brittle people as astronauts, lol.

  14. This is Good. But i really hope to see Conan O'Brien doing this piece and it will be a comic gold.

  15. Loved the slow motion gags. Number one especially. Hollywood setups are ripe for lampooning. So ripe that 'National Lampoon Magazine' milked their visual cliches for all they were worth. Keep getting more cheap laughs though… We all need a good giggle from time to time. PS. Your straight man did a sterling job. Offer him a job.

  16. They compared it to an EVA suit though. This is not an EVA suit and they'll still have to use something like 3:28 for spacewalks though, as much as I am informed…

  17. Dearest Late Show with Stephen Colbert and Friends, Thank you for, β€œtearing the roof off that place!!!” I know that’s how you do.😊 So very funny!!! What a great adventurous day. So cool of N.A.S.A. to play along. Thank you for sharing, and, β€œLet’s allow the beautiful Service Opossum to Light this lavender scented Candle πŸ•―!!!” We’re ready to fly. πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ˜Š And just one more thing, β€œLove your suit.” πŸ‘¨β€πŸš€πŸ˜Šβ€οΈ

  18. He's a typical liberal a_ hole. I don't see anything funny about him mocking the space program. Personally I don't like him and I'm sure I never will. But to think I defended his right to free speech while serving my country. I just as soon put him on a rocket and send him to the Moon permanently. Along with all those other morons that think he's funny and support him. Enough said.

  19. πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚OMG,OMG so so stupied

  20. But…there is many plans for space travel, and having astronauts live and work in space, on the moon…but there isnt a whole bunch of plans to clean up the space debris…

  21. Theres dangerous amounts of space debris in certain orbital levels, theres more added to orbit by launches, and there is even tens of thousands of planned satellites to be placed in orbit, space craft…even things like space medicine and industry labs to be placed in orbit…

  22. The ISS has to be re positioned when there is a certain level of risk of impact, already…with current plans it seems unrealistic that doing all these planned space endeavors will not end well…if there is more space debris and satellites added to orbit, orbital levels, its going to increase the risks of impacts…

  23. if there are more stations placed in space, and hardly any clean up of the space debris, its going to be many stations and craft in space, having to re position and have increased ricks of impacts…that seems like a terrible plan…very risky…

  24. Theres going to be more and more stations re positioning, more satellites, likely more space poo, and having those stations all re position when there is a certain level of risk for impact, which will increase…

  25. At least have more space debris clean up, limits of satellites and stations per orbital level, and have the space poo discharged with momentum to place it in the atmosphere, or away from the planet to decrease impact risks…

  26. Theres an article that says the current plans "will make the road to space"…but with current plans, making the road to space, will hinder or destroy the road to space…

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